Fly Away.

After all that 'commotion', I'm here, once again.

Yes, it's my fault, everything is my fault, everything including those that's their fault are also my fault. They ditched me, so I ditched being scared. Talking things out might not be the best way out, people. Oh ya, being not-as-vocal-or-outspoken-as-them is also bad. No one is asking them to understand what I am thinking totally. It's just that when I don't speak, it doesn't mean I'm pissed everytime. Oh, come on, everyone has their quiet, little time to themselves randomly. I'm not the same, so I must be leave.

Okay, enough about that. Term break was right after the let-me-try-talk-things-out-with-them and it is ending in around 2 hours? Noooooooooo! I wasted my holidays, once again. Well, not really, I guess.

Yey, I went over the borders to Malaysia for a day of shopping!
Yey, I bought a cheap top there!
Yey, I bought chewing gums and bubble gums!
Yey, we bought shows!
Yey, we ate cheap and good food!
Yey, I went Christmas shopping with my sister back in Singapore!
Yey, I bought another top!
Yey, we managed to buy the presents!
Yey, I watched Madagascar 2, but not in the movies!
Yey, I didn't go for secret santa and things got even worse!
Yey, Christmas party with my secondary school friends was good!
Yey, Christmas lunch with my family was good!
Yey, I bought a pair of sandals and a pair of slippers!
Yey, I managed to download The Devil Wears Prada ebook from online!
Yey, I rid my laptop of a small virus!
Boo, school is starting!

Scared.

I was right. I mean what I said in my previous post. Except for a little mistake, one problem have not ended, yet another came along.

I have totally no idea what it is about; all I know that it is about me and they are, okay, they look like they are going to ditch me. Totally ditching me. Of course, I'm scared, in fact, very scared. I don't know what they have been saying, I don't know what I've done wrong. I thought I was trying my best to solve the previous problem when no one said or done anything yet. Maybe talking to only one person will not solve the problem, but I didn't realise that it will get worse and worse.

I think it's my fault, no matter what they have been saying, because if I did not do something wrong, they wouldn't have something to talk about. I don't know, really, I'm afraid that I will break down. Everything is giving my head a big spin. I feel like crying, I feel like bursting out into tears.

Wow, so many "I"s in this post. Anyway, I have not watched the movies yet! Except for Bolt, which was quite good, I must say. I didn't expect it to be good, I just expected it to be cute. Hahaha! The show is worth watching, so if anyone happens to see this, try and catch it! (I think that this is the first time I cried twice for a cartoon. If I'm not wrong.)

Uptown Girl

I'm holding on, or rather, trying to hold on. To what? To the friendship we have, to the clique we are in. Splitting will come gradually, if no one decides to do anything about it. How I wish things will go back to the way it is before, but we know that it is impossible with all the thorns within our hearts. Sad, but that is true, and I don't know whether we all feel the same or not.

A classmate told me that girl cliques always have this kind of problems. Oh well, how true. One problem just ended, and another come right along. It is not only teenagers who have this problem, even adults face this crap too. Shocking to some people, but it is a cruel world. Oh man~

Anyway, I've neither started reading 'The Devil Wears Prada' nor watched Madagascar. That is a huge disappointment for me. Look on the bright side, as in my bright side, holidays are coming! Not exactly that bright though, with all the projects tagging along. 2/3 of my clique (oh wow) will be having a secretive Christmas party with some of my other classmates. It is a secretive party, so there will be secret Santa!

Hohoho! Merry Christmas! :) Stay happy, everyone!

Uh-lee-ter-bee-heh-pi. (A Little Bit Happy.)

My friend took quite a while to understand the title, so I added in the actual meaning I'm trying to convey.

Anyway, I got a new bag! It is a belated birthday present from my sister. Saw it in a shop today, and bought it after we walked the entire shopping mall! I like the material of the bag, both the outer and inner layer. It doesn't look that good in the picture, but it's pretty and it's brown! The thing is, it is kind of expensive too, because the brand name isn't very good.

Oh, take another look at the picture! The green laptop bag behind is also one of my presents, from my friends in secondary school. So sweet of them to get it in my favourite colour, green! I heard from my other friends that this brand is not cheap, so it makes me feel guilty. Anyway, love them!

I've got 'The Devil wears Prada' from my friend already, have not started on it yet, but I am absolutely looking forward to reading it. Who cares whether it is not as good as the movie?!

I screwed up my test too. Heck it! Life is too short to bother so much about little things like that! (Actually, it's quite important. It concerns the 15% grades of that particular module for me.) Time for me to go back to work on my story plot and beats; the due date is this friday! Gosh!

Ah ha!

I admit, I should be studying for a test tomorrow and here I am, adding some interesting looking gadget to my little lonely blog. But I couldn't resist it! Doesn't it look cute! I love the world map.

Anyway, I sense an upcoming change, or probably it's my imagination or maybe doubt ;). It is quite obvious to everyone with eyes to see that changes are taking over slowly. All my friends have a personal little space in my heart. The size of it depends on how close we are, the closer, the bigger. As simple as that. While I do not like the idea of reducing the size of that particular little space, it is best that I let go before, as I said before, things become ugly. Forget it, friends like that will come and go no matter how unwilling we are.

On a lighter note, my friend has the novel 'The Devil Wears Prada'! Why am I happy? I do not need to go to the library to look for it again and borrow it for a limited amount of time. My fabulous friend will do me a favor by lending it to me, although she says that the movie is much better. ;)

I want to catch Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa in the cinemas before it is gone! It looks so amusing! That fabulous friend say I will absolutely love the movie!

Oh! Doubt is coming out next year, 29th January 2009 in Singapore. I know it is slow, but it is seriously much better than not coming to Singapore at all! Meryl Streep is in it! Love her! Amy Adams is in it too, and I think she is not bad! Love the colour of her eyes, something we Asians cannot have without the help of contact lenses! Oh well! Woo! Meryl Streep! :D:D

One Copy?

I feel like a total loser. :(

By the way, I'm hearing this (inserts yakking hand gestures) and I want to hear this (inserts zipping hand gestures). Sounds familiar, or looks familiar? Its from The Devil Wears Prada, another wonder by Meryl as usual. :)

Pool.

I don't like comparison. It makes everything so unfair. To me, different days means different standards. A new day creates a new standard of living. Everyone is learning and absorbing every second, without absorbing, nothing would be learn, and so, its unfair that you compare your group with ours, just because its a different day.

Atmosphere of surroundings make a difference too. When the atmosphere is good, it is most likely that people will tend to perform better. So there shouldn't be a comparison from the start.

Tired. I need a nap.

James Bond Island

Nanowrimo, or something like that, seems like its the new 'in' thing. I'm not cut out for writing, so, oh well, let me just stick to my pathetic little blog which is quite anonymous, I think.

Bonding? I don't like the sound of it, it sounds fake. I would call it relaxing and spending precious time together instead. :)

Squishy Squash.

I miss him.

I dropped him near the Esplanade a few months ago.

I liked his alien-like face a lot.

With that cute pair of ears that are so adorable.

(Despite turning a bit yellow.)

:(

Simply Streep.

I said in my previous post that I love Meryl Streep. I mean seriously, she is such a great actress with a great personality. Why can't everyone be like her?

There are times when people start to lie and they can't stop. Or rather, they don't want to stop. It's hard to move away once you are attached or used to someone or something. However, if the first step to move away is not made, things would get uglier and uglier. Making things ugly is not what I want, it's disgusting.

Pushing everyone away will only make you suffer in the end, why don't people learn. Social circles getting smaller and smaller day by day, but the number of people being upset and disappointed increases. Ditch useless gossips, open up your mind, think more for people instead of making everything revolve around you, and only you.

Confidence in yourself is very important, but over-confidence will ruin you. Escape from your room of mirrors and take a look at people around, they don't need you, but it'll be nice if you are around for them. Taking people, especially your friends and family, for granted will just make yourself dependent and not everyone will tolerate so much.

Stand up on your own feet and stop whining and hoping that the whole world comes to your rescue and saves the day everytime like the Powerpuff Girls. Powerpuff Girls only exists in cartoons and on televisions, they really don't appear here in real life. Wake up from your dream and care more about others.

Oh ya, Halloween was fun. Birthday chalets and parties were fun too! :D

Watch more Meryl Streep movies, they are inspiring and lovely, especially Meryl. :D

The Hours.

"Did something happen?" That simple question was enough to let my precious friend tear.

Life is a funny thing, maybe God was joking when He suggested ending life with something called 'death', and someone up there took it seriously. Thats why everyone ends up dying. Or maybe it is like the movie, Accuracy of Death (aka Sweet Rain), people die after fulfilling their purpose.

What about those people who committed sucide then? Did they have a purpose? Did they fulfill their purpose before dying? No one knows, for sure. There is a choice of life or death for everyone, that sounds fair. What about illness? Is that fair?

The Hours, another movie by Meryl Streep in the past few years. I love that lady. In that movie, which I understood but then again did not understand, talks about life and death. One chose death, hoping to bring happiness and freedom to others, another chose to live, for herself and brought sadness and disappointment to others.

No matter which road people take, we'll all end up in the same place at the end. I believe that there will be people there discussing about their lifetime achievements to others, and some sit at a corner regretting about things that they did not do.

Right now, there is another choice to make. To regret or not.

(G)one(P)laying(A)lready.

GPA. I've gotten my results around a week ago, or maybe more than a week. Not very pleasant to my eyes, I should say. They are kind of bad, but I sort of expected it. On a brighter note, it's over. On a dimmer note, the modules next semester sounded HORRIBLE.

Did I even mentioned that rollerblading is so much tougher than ice-skating? Since I'm here, let me just make a little confession to the one in my heart. Ice-skating, I love you now and forever, and I will never, I repeat, NEVER let a third-party like that ass, Rollerblading, come between the both of us. I rejected rollerblading, and it kicked me in the butt, or rather, my left thigh. A blue-black mark is left there, but fred not, it'll be gone with the wind, like the curiousity I had within it.

Enough of that corny crap. Hahaha! Oh well, I'm not good at ice-skating too! It's just that I'm a teeny weeny bit better at it than rollerblading and I enjoy it much more! :D

Shucks, I forgot what I wanted to add next! Oh! I just remembered.

A little trip down to Acer's and HP's service centre today was really worth it. My friend's Acer laptop's disc tray is working well now, and my HP laptop's disc tray is working great now! Kudos to the heros! I saw the differences in how Acer and HP work.

Acer goes for the more casual type; the route to the service centre was some squeezy back alley and the design of the service centre itself is very normal, nothing outstanding. An LCD TV mounted to the wall showed us advertisements and short films which are honestly, boring. The short films were terrible, production-wise. But that is not the main point. Plastic chairs are neat but squeezy; the service centre's employees are wearing black polo tee and pants. Not friendly enough.

HP has the more professional look; a interestingly designed tunnel brought us to the main building and big signs guided us to where we were heading for. Polite and friendly lady showed us what we were supposed to do and provided me with a form. In the service centre, colourful and welcoming sofas were waving to us. Three different LCD TVs mounted on different walls showed us different entertainments that are worth watching. They played Pink Panther, a movie and Tom and Jerry! Also, to add on to the professional look, everyone was in formal wear, which made the whole place look very smart and creative. I'm lucky I bought HP.

Anyway, I thought I had to put my laptop there for repair for at least three days, like the lady on the phone told me that day. It turns out to be fixed in less than 10 mins! Minus the waiting time though! Hahaha!

I'm going to do something crazy tomorrow. I'm going for a jog at Bishan Stadium with my friend(s). Sims 2, I'm totally looking forward!

World Hunger Relief 2008.

More colours were added into my life during the past week. I got a new phone, went to a class chalet, bought some D.I.Y stuffs to try make new earrings, donated two dollars to World Hunger Relief 2008 and messed up my table. Currently, I am in the mids of watching a Taiwan drama and reading some comics. Colourful eh?

Anyway, I'm listening to some Secondhand Serenade now, thanks to my dear friend, who introduced me to his songs. I heard people saying that his songs are very "emo", but I like his voice. His voice is very comfortable to my ears and very soothing.

Just received a Specialist Card from the Navy, and it looks like I can enjoy some discount and offer off certain things. Speaking about discounts, it brings me back to Marketing. Semester is over, term break is here, but exam results are not out yet. Hoo-boy, now wish me luck for the worst.

For Marketing, I hope I can score well, provided that I pass. For Intro to Media, I was told that everyone passed, but regarding how well I passed, I have no idea at all.

If I'm not wrong, it is time for the O levels for secondary school students once again. To come to think about it, I really enjoyed doing Maths. Compared to Physics and Chemistry, EMaths and AMaths are so simple.

Some things in life are meant to be simple for certain people, and complicated for others. But, without effort, I don't think that everything is simple enough for everyone. Some people think that they have others to help them with their work. However, if effort is not put in by them, it is impossible for them to learn and absorb, not to say complete the job.

My hand hurts, so might continue next time. Tata.

Enchanted Inc.

Another book down. This time its by Shanna Swendson and about magic. Imagine if magic really exists in the world. I bet I would be left out by the magical world then. I want to know more about magic, assuming it really exists.

Anyway, I was thinking, I realised every paragraph of my posts have no relevance to each other. It is really like random thoughts that is flowing through my small, empty brain. I can't seem to get stuck to one topic, unless I am in a bad mood. I like the idea of random typing of contents; I would not get marked down by my Scriptwriting teacher in school for it, and that makes me happier.

I am addicted to spending too much money ever since holidays, or maybe, term break, started for me. On the bright side, I am still in love with reading. Reading brings me to another world, to the world which the author wrote for readers like me. It is like watching movies, you are separated from the outside world. I love it everytime when I know I found an interesting book.

Okay, my thoughts got interrupted by a friend, not very glad by that interruption, but life goes on.

Books! I want to continue talking about books. Surprisingly, my English did not improve at all even though I read. But I think I would be able to survive with my standard of English. Everyone in my class seems to have a great command of the language, maybe it's just me. A happy note, I think I can understand what talents in movies are saying even without subtitles. Most of them, okay, some of them. I wonder if that counts as an improvement.

It is kind of late now. Looking forward to reading my next book, A Wedding to Die For. Sounds interesting, and if I'm not wrong, I'll be in for an adventure again! Not forgetting my gorgeous, lovely NDS lite when I'm bored. :D

Plum Lucky.

Okay, that is a book title. I just love Janet Evanovich, her books are awesome. It's interesting, captivating, and everytime I hold one, I wouldn't put it down in hours! I love to finish books in a day, or maybe, in a seating. Another two of her books added to my personal collection, as in my brain. Lack of cash to buy it, and library is my best friend.

I realised I did not update for more than a month, I think. There's no one to see it anyway, so I like it this way. Certain extent of privacy can be upholded even though this is on the Internet. Plenty of things came by and disappeared. Let me try and elaborate on 'Honesty'.

Honesty is what everyone should believe in. However, humans are really irritating. They love to tell white lies, pushing the fact that it-is-still-a-lie to the corner of their pathetic brains. Oh well, it is either they don't understand the meaning of 'lie' in the term 'white lie' or it is just that they are acting dumb. White lies are made believe to be not harmful, not destructive or whatever. No one got it clear that, 'Hello~ It is still hurtful~ It is a lie~'.

Or maybe like Janet Evanovich stated in her fictional book, humans have trust issues. Which-ever, whatever. It is hard to believe or to trust anything or anyone nowadays. Like that email which got me believing that there will be two moons tonight. Stupid, naive, dumb or any term you can think of to describe me; I actually believed that pathetic hoax and stuck my head out of the window just to hope to get a glimpse of the two moons.

That's not the end of the two moon story. Instead of the two moons, I saw a small, shiny dot in the middle of the sky, bigger than the rest of the stars. I thought that it couldn't be that satelite near moon because it seems much larger than before. Told my friends about that shiny dot, they laughed at me and insisted that it is a satelite.

Did I forget to mention about the Beijing Olympics 2008, which was just over? Did I say that Michael Phelps and Usian Bolt are my heros? I think Bolt has a fun personality instead of what others say, proud and arrogant. I believe that he is just trying to enjoy his whole Olympics journey in 2008, for the next is four years away! Anyway, I kind of dislike Phelps's taste in women. Did anyone look at his current girlfriend? He broke the hearts of all other young ladies all around the whole world.

Blogging is actually fun. I can rattle on and on, but no one bothers because they wouldn't see it. Although this blog is supposed to be unknowned to everyone, if a really random bloghopper hopped by, say Hi to me. Let me feel excited once in a while in this lonely blog. ;D

Red-cheek Sea Otter.

Nothing exciting, something boring.

Roar.

After typing the title, I felt like blogging about lions. That is not going to happen; I lack too much knowledge on them.

Weird. Everything is so weird now. There seems to be plenty to do, but not enough time to finish everything. However, I feel so free now. That's why it is weird.

I feel so insecured, all of a sudden. I am like, afraid of everyone and everything leaving me behind. Here, all alone, where no one cares or bothers. Suddenly, nothing seems close enough now. I want to reach out and grab something, but it feels like it is running away from me. I am scared of being ditched, and left at one corner. Someone, save me from the pits of darkness. It is swallowing me in it.

The world is so small, I just realised. Everyone knows everyone. Anyone might know everyone. Okay, explanation, my classmate knows my friend. My friend is my friend's childhood friend. My primary school friend is my friend's CCA mate. My classmate's sister is my junior. My classmate knows my primary school friend. My school mate knows my friend's friend. Something like that, and its still not ended.

Confusing, but interesting. The world is small enough. Singapore is even smaller than I thought! This little red dot on the world map has everything of my life. So, I love Singapore.

Don't ask me about the url.

Somehow, Blogger loves to irritate me. Years ago, I gave up on Blogger. Now that I'm back, it is irritating me again. Just look at the url. I wanted to have the word "random" in it, but I failed, thats why it it really random now.

But, I don't really care. It's just a name for this unknown blog. I'm not going to let it out to whoever I know anyway, so it does not really matter. Just to say some random feelings, that is what this blog is for. No names are going to be mentioned. Hopefully, my own name wouldn't be known.

Wordy, I know. Let's make this more interesting, how I wish.

Anyway, not really a regular Sunday. I had some over at my house today, and dinner at KFC was good. Gossips flying everywhere among the four of us. I love to gossip, even though I know it is bad to talk behind people's back.

My mindset is quite wrong, I realised. I always think that even if I do not gossip about people behind their backs, people would still gossip about me, so why stop gossiping? I really need to start improving on myself, once again, to prevent people from disliking me. Freethinker, but I pray I would succeed, hopefully.

I love knowing secrets that are not mine, but I don't like to share mine. Have a quick guess which horoscope I am. I feel that I can keep secrets quite well, or at least I think I can. I love having the feeling of people putting their trust in me and telling me personal stuff. But, I hate people forcing me to tell my own secrets. For that reason, I don't force people. If they trust me, they trust me. If they don't, then that is none of my business.